Today was the first day of my vacation that the weather was nice, the kids and dog were healthy enough to go to their respective day cares, and I was feelinga little less undead than previously.

Kayak trip!

I was paddling out to the middle of the lake reflecting on the sudden spate of paddling accidents that have been reported in the local paper when I noticed there was a lot of water in the ‘yak, even though the wind was calm and there was no spray. One minute I noticed my cooler was getting wet, and then next minute I was hip-deep.

I reversed, beached the boat, upended it, and saw a neat rent in the stern. Great.

I called the kayak repair shop to ask for an estimate. “How did the hole get in the boat?” he asked.

“Uh, I dunno, maybe we dropped it when we were transporting it?” I offered.

“The hole is in the boat because you drag the boat,” he pronounced.

If you already knew the answer, smartass, then why did you ask? Yes, I drag the boat. I have a bad back and weak upper arms. Sue me. Or, in your case, just charge me extra for being an idiot.

Given the events of the week, I guess God is telling me not just to shut up but to sit down, too.