A phone conversation between Husband and me while I am in Chicago.

Me: How’s Aitch doing with his toilet training? Did he poop yet today?

Husband: No, he hasn’t—Christ on a cracker, what is this mess?

Me: What is it?

Husband: Looks like he pooped on the floor of the bathroom.

Me: Did he poop in his pants and then take them off in there, or did he go into the bathroom because he had to poop and just not quite make it?

Husband: Aitch, did you poop in your pants and take them off, or were you trying to make it to the potty?

Aitch: [unintelligible]

Husband: He’s not telling.

Me: Well, can’t you tell from the–

Husband: –poop splatter?

Me: Exactly!

Maybe we should spend a little less time with “CSI” and more time toilet training.