Our attempts to introduce Aitch to the wonderful world of toilet-training have been hamstrung by his tendency to pee the minute his equipment is liberated from the diaper. Combine this with his reluctance to sit on the potty, and we have a lot of cleaning products being used up in the Ever-Fixed Mark household.

Tonight, for example, Aitch let loose as soon as he was put into the bath. He stood there watching himself, fascinated. “Green,” he said, helpfully, pointing to the stream. “Yellow,” I corrected automatically.

“Oh, man,” Husband said, exasperated. “Now I’m going to have to empty the tub. Well, give yourself a shake,” he said, an instruction that I would have never thought to give.

Aitch shook his head vigorously.

Looks like this is going to be harder than I thought.